The Shotgun!
This page is found at http://www.awomanscomfort.com/shotgun.html
Do You Need Permission?
There is lots of talk today about "Getting Permission". My personal experience is that women don't need permission.
There are all sorts of people and self-help books and what-have-you that are more than happy to give it.
For most women I know "permission" just isn't enough.
To get most of them to take - time off, a vacation, have a good time, _________ ( fill in the blank ) - it takes someone standing over them with a shotgun, serious threats, and a memo with the whole thing planned out in advance.
Permission - and the List
Just getting "permission" would simply move the idea of thinking about it, slightly, up the list.
That means that the vacation (or whatever) is still behind:
- Everyone Else's Desires
- And Comforts
- And having the House Perfect.
- And the Cat watered.
- And the Plants fed.
Why?
We put everyone else first because of the joy we get from loving.
It is our care that keeps them safer, healthier, and happier than they could possibly be without us.
And we know it.
The Importance of Being
The importance of being a Mother or Wife - and sometimes even just "a friend" - can not be over expressed.
Ask anyone who recently lost someone close to them.
Losing a Mother is like having something physically torn from your body. Men who are married live much longer than single men do.
There is no getting away from the fact that we give birth, and continue to guard those we care for with our every breath, everyday of our lives.
Someone's Daughter
The problem comes when we forget that there is another soul in our care - our own.
We forget that we are "someone's daughter."
Finding Your Center
Start by Sitting Quietly
Sit or lie in a quite place. Take a couple of deep breaths and relax.
Find your center
If you are sitting you can rock gently back and forth, side to side to find it.
If you are lying down (perhaps in the bath as you take a Comfort Vacation) mentally "scan" your body and find that place which is just a little heavier and more solid.
It is generally around the area of the navel.
Saying Hello
See it as a ball of light that slowly, slowly becomes more apparent.
Watch it for a while. What color is it? Is it only one color? What is the surface like? Perhaps it has clouds or streamers that surround it.
Float it gently to your cupped hands and realize that this wondrous thing is a part of you. A special part. Feel its love, its joy - and its need, for everything that lives had needs.
Listen to it. Let it tell you its needs. Let it expand and surround you.
Feel it all around you for 100 heartbeats. Feel it pulse, sometimes larger, sometimes smaller.
Saying Goodbye
At the end let it contract back to its original size and return to its place again. Take a few more deep breaths and tell it "I will remember. I will return"
Watering the Cat
I'm not going to hold a shotgun at you, but just as the cat needs to be watered and the plants feed, - or is it the other way around - you need to be taken care of.
You have needs that are just as important as anyone else's. Taking care of them does not mean that you are putting yourself first but simply that you too have a place. What does it take to enjoy a beautiful sky or flower. How much time does it actually take to just look? Make a point of doing so everyday - find the beauty and joy around you. Take part in them.
And don't forget your Comfort Vacation. When you do you will be more relaxed, healthier, and happier, and you will have more to give those you care about.
Think about it. Maybe on your next Comfort Vacation.